Workplace Mishap Humor Fan Gifts

'Mary, that better have been a contact lens you just dropped.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Can do...No can do

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

The Rubber Ball Company

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Organization is not rocket science!

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

Quality Control

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"I appreciate the effort Carl, but I don't think you understand the swarm concept."

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'