Laughing At Workplace Mishaps Gifts

"He's always like this on a Monday morning"

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

Sleeping at the computer.

'Well sure, YOU'VE got brakes on FOUR wheels!'

'Very good job! I would like to show my appreciation in a practical way...Hip,hip hooray!'

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"Briggs is running our stress at work assessment."

Maybe you'd get more work done if you uninstalled that fish tank screensaver.'

Multitasking.

Fun at the Office # 729: MEMO FANATICS IN THE HALL

'Not everyone is able to cope with change.'

'This call may be monitored for training purposes or just to keep our staff amused.'

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

"This is the software for my head."

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.

'Mary, that better have been a contact lens you just dropped.'

"'Work' is a magic word around here."

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

'What have I told you about gambolling at work, Lambton?'

"When do the training wheels come off?"

"Did she tell you she was leaving work early?"

'... Service your gas fire?... Certainly, I can not bother turning up this Tuesday morning, if that's convenient.'

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

"Ms. Sherburn, could you bring me some scissors and another necktie please."

'I believe a problem shared is a problem delegated.'

"So you turned off the power, huh?"

"Oh, no. I brought my dinner plans by mistake."

Now 7 days since anybody ate anybody. Let's keep it going!