Workplace Humor Fan Gifts

Giving feedback is a complex process.

Positive thinking really helps block out reality.

"This design has been instrumental in employee retention."

Office worker is crushed by a think balloon. Co-worker says: 'I feel bad because I was always telling him to think big.'

"I've watched you Bastable, you are domineering foul-mouthed and aggressive - how would you like to be foreman?"

Government Contract Painter Paints Sign Windows.

"I Have so much less stress since I removed the phone and inbox."

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

'You're either with us or against us in this company. Now roll up your sleeve!'

'Taking his job as Systems Analyst a bit literally, isn't he?'

'Go ahead and take the rest of the afternoon off.'

'We're encouraged to be individuals here - look, there's a menu of three personality types to choose from.'

"Fritz, you dropped the ball again, this year! You realize what this means...."

'We want to change our nerdy image. That's where you come in.'

Safety - "Don't tick off Tiny."

"...We've had some complaints about your work habits lately."

'What can I say? I'm a slave to fashion.'

"The word 'slave' is so degrading. Why don't we call you intern."

"Here's how to fit in: overstress, overthink, and wine about everything."

'The way to look at it, Benson, is it's a simple choice. Enrol in the company pension scheme or burn in the fiery pits of Hell for all eternity.'

'Well done Flipper, you seem to be balancing your workload well.'

'Boss, I feel discriminated against. My department manager gropes every female colleague except me!'

'Do you have any job references that aren't imaginary?'

'You've reached Human Resources automated phone service...'

The bad news is Wally fell in the sander. The good news is he's nice and smooth!

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

'Oh, you're just jealous 'cause Ms Lerner gave me the corner office.'

"Yes, I've been waiting a while for the start of my accession negotiations...my contact person at the EU is Mr. Godot."

"For your interview, take a seat...then move it somewhere."

"So, are you working Mr Smith?"

"I'm disappointed that you didn't get yesterday's work done, Karen. Even though you called in sick, company policy says all sick days are working sick days."

"A little hard work never killed anyone. But still, why tempt fate?"

Occupational Safety and Health Administration'

"...and make sure you never do it again! Now, I want you to go sit in your corner office, and think about what you've done!"

'Why, Miss Daniels, what an exciting suggestion.'