Workplace Humor Fan Gifts

Giving feedback is a complex process.

Positive thinking really helps block out reality.

Office worker is crushed by a think balloon. Co-worker says: 'I feel bad because I was always telling him to think big.'

"I've watched you Bastable, you are domineering foul-mouthed and aggressive - how would you like to be foreman?"

Government Contract Painter Paints Sign Windows.

'You're either with us or against us in this company. Now roll up your sleeve!'

"I Have so much less stress since I removed the phone and inbox."

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

'Go ahead and take the rest of the afternoon off.'

'We're encouraged to be individuals here - look, there's a menu of three personality types to choose from.'

Safety - "Don't tick off Tiny."

'Taking his job as Systems Analyst a bit literally, isn't he?'

'We want to change our nerdy image. That's where you come in.'

'Do you have any job references that aren't imaginary?'

'You've reached Human Resources automated phone service...'

'Well done Flipper, you seem to be balancing your workload well.'

'Boss, I feel discriminated against. My department manager gropes every female colleague except me!'

The bad news is Wally fell in the sander. The good news is he's nice and smooth!

'The way to look at it, Benson, is it's a simple choice. Enrol in the company pension scheme or burn in the fiery pits of Hell for all eternity.'

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

'Oh, you're just jealous 'cause Ms Lerner gave me the corner office.'

"...We've had some complaints about your work habits lately."

'What can I say? I'm a slave to fashion.'

"The word 'slave' is so degrading. Why don't we call you intern."

"Here's how to fit in: overstress, overthink, and wine about everything."

"Yes, I've been waiting a while for the start of my accession negotiations...my contact person at the EU is Mr. Godot."

"For your interview, take a seat...then move it somewhere."

"So, are you working Mr Smith?"

"I'm disappointed that you didn't get yesterday's work done, Karen. Even though you called in sick, company policy says all sick days are working sick days."

"A little hard work never killed anyone. But still, why tempt fate?"

Occupational Safety and Health Administration'

"...and make sure you never do it again! Now, I want you to go sit in your corner office, and think about what you've done!"

Caution Brick Wall: Wear Proper Head Gear.

"Bob's been drinking more than just the Kool-Aid lately."

"No, this is not a hazmat suit, this is a waring label that the material of this coverall is hazardous to one's health."