Worksite Humor Fan Gifts

Personnel and Admin is alright, but you can't beat the foundry for good tea.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Can do...No can do

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

The Rubber Ball Company