Work Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'Excellent, Goldsmith. Offering me your resignation is the best idea you've had since joining this company.'

"Mr. Rod says I make too many mistakes on the job and I need to plan to make fewer of them."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Golfing Boss

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Work Parfait

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Lethal Presentation

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."