Work Humor Gifts

Here but not in...

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Corporate Camouflage.

"Nothing like an honest day's pay for an honest week's work."

"We're like a family here...albeit dysfunctional."

"Can you just wait until I check with HQ?"

"You have to understand Johnson, the most important thing is not how much time you spend at work...But how much of that time you spend brown nosing me!"

"We've got three issues to discuss: our green office waste initiative, the fuzzy Saxby account figures, and that thing in the refrigerator, which is both green and fuzzy."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'Truth is, Howard, I would have fired you years ago but I was always afraid the donut shop across the street would go out of business if I did!'

Working For Coconuts

'This is a very difficult job. There's only so much you can pretend you're doing.'

Boss is coming. Look busy.

Economy - 'And this is where you took the day off to watch the cricket.'

Thinking outside the box.

'I've had a hard day at the office. It's not easy working other people's fingers to the bone!'

'Sorry to interrupt, but what's a coffee break?'

'Andrews, a parking space will be assigned to you in a day or two.'

'Yes, I know I'm still in the mail room. I'm just saying; I started in the mail room of this company twenty five years ago.'

'How was your vacation, Ed? Glad to be back?'

Friendly greeting machine.

I was awake all last night. Me, too. I'm exhausted. Ditto!! Thank heavens for work. And for today's staff meeting! It's the only place I can sleep!

"Looks like we found the issue."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'