Workplace Event Gifts

"Yes, he is aware that it's casual Friday. He usually wears a top hat and tails."

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

Inclusive speech

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'