Office Event Gifts

'Personally, I don't see that management got anything out of those sensitivity training workshops.'

"Oxygen masks. When a meeting gets so boring as to be life-threatening, they automatically drop down!"

'I'm pretty sure it's just plain old Tuesday. Bath towel Tuesday is next week.'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

Success is 99% perspiration: Monroe's Bottle Cat Sweat

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

That shows business confidence.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

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