Business Event Gifts

"We've come so far together...wouldn't it be great if they had frequent achiever miles?"

'That's our mission statement.'

McHoots Wine Merchants - 3 choices of 'water' coolers, one not touched.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

Inclusive speech

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'