Office Celebrations Gifts

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

The Pencil and Sharpener

'Actually, no-one's retiring or getting married this week - it's just that I can't kick the habit.'

"We've agreed to cut our ten minute tea break, to fifteen minutes."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

21st century water cooler conversations.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Here and There Trays

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

That shows business confidence.

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Party Animals.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."