Office Parties Gifts

"How come you never give me ideas like that?"

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

"All work and no play makes you a valued employee."

'Have you noticed it, too?'

"In order to save time and money on coffee and bathroom breaks, I've streamlined the process..."

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

'I don't know who's cranking up the air conditioning out here, but knock it off!'

'Do you think that's actually work he takes home? Or office supplies?'

Drinks vending machine: Tea, Coffee, No idea what this is, Urgh, and Best not.

"Oops! Wrong plug."

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

'I said all those in favour of improving communication, turn off your iPods.'

When he was between Executive Assistants, filing became a challenge for Jonathan.

"You know what I always say: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's a bit late to talk about draining the swamp!"

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Stop worrying! If this firm was facing bankruptcy, we'd be the first to know.'

"Not quite – one ankle on top of the other!"

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

'First, we need to set some boundaries.'

"Team, I'd like to introduce Mr. Mandrake aka 'The Sales Magician'."

'This button connects you to the inner ear of every worker.'

"Meetings are where I've learned to communicate with my coworkers via facial expressions only."

"In an effort to make this a more pleasant meeting, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales figures chart counter-clockwise a full ninety degrees."

"Take my advice. I don't use it anyway."

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"I'm so bored, I'm waiting for a fire drill."

'All right, I wanna know which ones of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

"Things are getting desperate...we have to do something!"

Corporate Punishment.