Cardiac Arrest Pillows

'Cards for those special occasions'.

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Running

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Running

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

Nordic Career-Trak

January Joiner

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

"We'll widen the clogged artery by inserting a balloon."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

"Still on your left."

Handy-lion

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."