Carb Loader Gifts

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"One slice—hold the bread."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

Where has he been so long?

Bakery. Don't you just love that new carb smell?!

Crusty Bread

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

Café. Lo Carb Specialties Diner. It's ironic that they advertise on a sandwich board.

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

The Atkins Diet.

'What happened mom? I thought you were on a low-carb diet?'

Carb free support group: 'Oh boy! I can have my cake and not eat it, too!'

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

Low Carb Slop

Bad Carbs

"You claim you're not cheating on your diet, Mr. Parker. But how do you explain this recent weight gain?"

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

'Sorry, no carbs.'

Woman walking through a bakery with blinkers on.