Carb Loader Gifts

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

Where has he been so long?

Crusty Bread

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

The Atkins Diet.

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

'What happened mom? I thought you were on a low-carb diet?'

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

Low Carb Slop

Bad Carbs

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

"You claim you're not cheating on your diet, Mr. Parker. But how do you explain this recent weight gain?"

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

'Sorry, no carbs.'

Woman walking through a bakery with blinkers on.

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'