Carb Conscious Gifts

'Hey! How about going easy on the carbs!'

Café. Lo Carb Specialties Diner. It's ironic that they advertise on a sandwich board.

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

The economy and the environment.

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

The big pause

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

"She thinks I think it's real latte, but I know decaf when I taste it."

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'The automatic doors won't open.' 'Your carbon footprints are too light.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"That reminds me, your Dentist called."

Crusty Bread

Bakery. Don't you just love that new carb smell?!

'Looks like the work of the infamous international frequent flyer burglar - Better dust for carbon finger prints!'

2021 Highlights on TV - Viewer Discretion Advised

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

'And push this little button to warm up the outdoors.'

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

'No, no, no. I think it's great that you exercise and diet. I just wonder if perhaps you exercise and diet too much.'

Carb free support group: 'Oh boy! I can have my cake and not eat it, too!'

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

"Where's the nutritional information this thing?"

Bad Carbs

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."