Carb-conscious Creator Gifts

'Sorry, no carbs.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

The big pause

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'With such a tight budget we never thought it would be possible to build our dream home.'

'The automatic doors won't open.' 'Your carbon footprints are too light.'

Recycling Bin/Upcycling Bin

Concerned about soaring energy costs, Connie embarks on her biggest craft project ever and knits a wool sweater for their house.

"That reminds me, your Dentist called."

Crusty Bread

Bakery. Don't you just love that new carb smell?!

'Dad, the wine's been put into used barrels, just like you ordered. I got a great deal on them from Exxon.'

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

'My wife's an ecology nut. What can you suggest that hasn't contributed to pollution at any time during its manufacture?'

Café. Lo Carb Specialties Diner. It's ironic that they advertise on a sandwich board.

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

Carb free support group: 'Oh boy! I can have my cake and not eat it, too!'

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

Bad Carbs

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

"Upcycled, re-purposed and resin dipped - that's how gran would have wanted to go."

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

'Raymond, do you really love me or just my low-carbohydrate meat?'

'Hey, uh, maybe you oughta take a break from the sugar water.'

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"