Carb Curtailers Gifts

'I'm going to put you on a low carb diet,'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

Bakery. Don't you just love that new carb smell?!

Crusty Bread

Café. Lo Carb Specialties Diner. It's ironic that they advertise on a sandwich board.

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

'What happened mom? I thought you were on a low-carb diet?'

The Atkins Diet.

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

'What you need is some negative growth.'

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

Years later, during the low carb craze, she became known simply as 'Mary had a lotta lamb.'

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

Low Carb Slop

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

'Sorry, no carbs.'

'I'll have potato soup, potato salad, baked potato with fries and for dessert, potato pancakes.'

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

In the calorie family: 'You're home early?'....'Mrs. Harrison has started dieting again!'

'Marathon...? what Marathon...!'

'No thanks, I'm on a low carb diet.'

Slimmer's baguette.

'She might prefer the low-carb alternative...or any alternative.'