Car Park Manager Gifts

'You're in luck. We just got an opening.'

"Let me call you back. They're toeing my car."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Meter Maid

"Do you validate?" "What? No, there's no parking lot. It's just street parking. And that's free." "I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8am." "I'm not following." "It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me." "Get out."

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

..eh darling, have you forgotten we have the caravan with us?

Dry Paint

'He was run over by our home. We live in a mobile home park.'

You said this transfer would be a great opportunity for me! Parking Patrol. No, I said you'd be able to write your own ticket.

Richard III found buried under Leicester car park.

A hiker in the wilderness encounters a suggestion box.

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

"Ooooohhhh, that feels so good. Now, down and a little to the right, please."

Dozens of parking tickets under windscreen wipers. Woman passenger says: 'It might be time to give the windscreen a wipe.'

"Hot sun, metal slide . . . not a good combination!"

What's the idea taking up my parking space?

'I think I need glasses, I've just given my own car a ticket.'

'We'll be a few minutes late. Ed got a primo parking space and he needs a little gloat time.'

Potholes.

Florence was known as The Lady with the Clamp

Sign, Keep off.

'You know, King Richard here hasn't paid for his parking space since 1485. Who do I send the bill to?'

"I was merely signifying - don't give me two tickets."

'Who should I call first? 911 or the parking lot manager?'

"What's the ticket for? I'm just feeding the meter."

"No, this is parking wardens' heaven you need lost persons' heaven."

'Tell Dr. Swan his car is resting comfortably.'

'Do you think the car pool manager will notice ?'

'Can I interest you in fake Rolexes, pirated DVDs or validated parking receipts?'

'foreplay is restricted to ten minutes, that'll be a £75 fixed penalty!'

Do you validate? What? No, there's not parking lot. It's just street parking and that's free. I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8a.m. I'm not following. It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me. Get out.