Parking Lot Manager Gifts

'Who should I call first? 911 or the parking lot manager?'

Potholes.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Meter Maid

"Do you validate?" "What? No, there's no parking lot. It's just street parking. And that's free." "I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8am." "I'm not following." "It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me." "Get out."

..eh darling, have you forgotten we have the caravan with us?

Don't even dream of parking here.

'He was run over by our home. We live in a mobile home park.'

A hiker in the wilderness encounters a suggestion box.

You said this transfer would be a great opportunity for me! Parking Patrol. No, I said you'd be able to write your own ticket.

"Ooooohhhh, that feels so good. Now, down and a little to the right, please."

Dozens of parking tickets under windscreen wipers. Woman passenger says: 'It might be time to give the windscreen a wipe.'

"Hot sun, metal slide . . . not a good combination!"

What's the idea taking up my parking space?

"I was merely signifying - don't give me two tickets."

Florence was known as The Lady with the Clamp

Sign, Keep off.

'You're in luck. We just got an opening.'

"Let me call you back. They're toeing my car."

"What's the ticket for? I'm just feeding the meter."

Just A Place To Hang Your Hat In Old New York

"No, this is parking wardens' heaven you need lost persons' heaven."

Do you validate? What? No, there's not parking lot. It's just street parking and that's free. I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8a.m. I'm not following. It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me. Get out.

Car tickets

The parking garage figured out how to have an endless stream of revenue.

'Do you think the car pool manager will notice ?'

'Can I interest you in fake Rolexes, pirated DVDs or validated parking receipts?'

"Excuse me,are you leaving?"

'foreplay is restricted to ten minutes, that'll be a £75 fixed penalty!'

Gym. Looks like you had a great workout! I just walked in from the parking lot!