Canoeing Satirist Gifts

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Guide fish.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Man painting MOM on boat

Walking the Plank.

Shark Chum

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

Fish Farm.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'