Canine Comedy Collector Gifts

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

"Well, I didn't eat Young Master's homework per se, but I have to shamefully admit I did chew on his woodworking project..."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Occu-Pie Mars

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"No no, I said sit!!"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Banana Split...

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Turtle Hat

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

E-Baying @ The Moon

"The Eggsorcist"

Filet minion

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Snowmobull

Obedience School Graduation

His Master's Thesis.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'