Dog Humor Collector Gifts

"I'm taking him out to do his 'job'."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I was almost that last year."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Cake Free Zone

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Eat me"

"Shake! Good Dog."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

Easter Island Shades...

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

A watch face with Stonehenge

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Dog wearing a cone

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?