Pet Comedy Collector Gifts

Cat Boss

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

'You two, sort it out!'

"Want to see me make him beg, roll over and shake?"

"They just love tassels."

Cat Blog.

"So, according to your resume, you're willing to work for dog food."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

Dog makes cats float with helium.

'Why do they refuse to drink water out of a bowl that's been left out for two hours, but go gaga over toilet water?'

Hang Time Fido

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

Cat Chores

Dog responding to his master doing a crossword.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Can't read this one either. Think anyone would mind if I just rolled around in them?'

'I said - MOVE IT!'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"Darling, this dog food is delicious!"

Deer Crossing

'Here's a stupid question...are you getting enough sleep?'

Groucho Chicken

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

'I happened to swallow a bottle of rogaine!'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'