Animal Humor Collector Gifts

"One more version of 'Climb Every Mountain' and I'll throttle you."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Penguin with square egg - "Now that's different."

"So, according to your resume, you're willing to work for dog food."

Groucho Chicken

"So he said, 'Where's your moral compass?' So I ate him."

"I said, we're both stone deaf, and can't hear a thing!"

Before the Domestication of Cows

Deer Crossing

"What do you mean 'NO HAIRCUTS'?"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Lactose Intolerant

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Oh Hi!'

The americanisation of vulture.

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"Eat me"

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

"Author does not do tricks."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Cake Free Zone

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'