Wildlife Humor Collector Gifts

Occasionally the birdtable would be visited by a family of Chavfinches.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Too much concealer?"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Crow and fox

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

The polar bear's vending machine.

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

The cat's pyjamas - cat camouflage.

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

"Fasten your seat belt."

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

"Mating display of the white-bellied boobie"

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'