Cancer Diagnosis Gifts

Doctor to man: 'We've found a mass. The good news is we have weapons of mass destruction.'

'I gave it a healthy dose of denial, but it didn't help.'

"We're going to beat this thing apart."

"Of course there is nothing wrong with your arm, but it will keep people from focusing on your cancer treatment."

"You lot aren't fooling anyone, y'know." King Charles cancer treatment

Prostate: 51st State

"While you were out the doctor examined your cell and it looks like we've caught your bowel cancer early."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Our war is against cancer."

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Good Luck!

Shake it all about sign on desk

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

Not much money, glory, or praise

InIn by-products.

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

In - Out - Pending.