Campus Life Gifts

Philosophy Department: You are Here...But why?

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"I'm afraid you lack the power to exile a professor to a branch campus."

"His first day as campus police and he just saw too many kids with backpacks and electronic devices in their hands."

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

"Believe me, you don't want to visit that club. It's members drone on and one."

"I'm looking for a bucolic tree-studded college campus. I don't plan to study much."

'Oh, no! Is it rag week again already?'

'Hi son. We just stopped by to bring you some food and money...we know how hard it must be to be in collage and have a job at the same time.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Fresher Flu.

Campus police are dorm troopers.

'I've been offered a week under the viaduct and three nights in a pizza hut doorway, after which I get my own cardboard box.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"I'm doing my fall semester on-line only -- I changed my major to 'Staying Alive."

Brett Beer: It's the best beer to ever make me ralph. And I've ralphed a lot.

The Art Student.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Yearbook

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Good Luck!

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"