Calorie Management Gifts

Low fat diets.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

All Natural Nothing

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Valleyview diet clinic

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"You won’t need refills."

HS2

Scales

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

Health cuts after Covid 19

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

Unfortunately my weight is like the stock market. In the short run it goes up and down, but over the long term in keeps reaching new heights.