Weight Management Wit Gifts

'Me, I weigh myself in the water: I get a better reading...'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

Valleyview diet clinic

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

Scales

Fat man on scales.