Weight Maintenance Wizard Gifts

Gordo found the cursed 'Freshman 15' was nothing but a myth. 'Can you believe I still fit in jeans I wore in high school?!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Fitness guru.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

Valleyview diet clinic

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Scales

Fat man on scales.