Weight Room Wizard Gifts

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Fitness guru.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Frank & Ernie's Health and Fitness Equipment for Elite Athletes. Our first delivery is there free weights we're taking to a golfer. He'll be working on his irons! This is going to a swimmer. A massage table for back strokes! A pro snowboarder bought this hyperbaric chamber. He wants to get big air! And we'll finish by taking the treadmill to a baseball player's basement gym. Of course ... for the home runs!

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Ring for Service.

Gym. Do you feel the burn? Do rashes count?

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

'You've made wonderful progress,Miss Pritchard.'

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

Body Building Mishap

"Any other strengths?"

'Keep fit.'

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Genie.

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

'Here's the REAL secret to our lean, meaty turkeys!'

Gymnasts

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

"See? The good still outweighs the bad."

"I guess now would be as good a time as any to talk about balance."

'This is great. A fruit you can eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

Working Out

"Would you like to supersize that?"