Weight Room Wizard Pillows

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Fitness guru.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Ring for Service.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

'You've made wonderful progress,Miss Pritchard.'

'Keep fit.'

"Any other strengths?"

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

Body Building Mishap

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

Genie.

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

Gymnasts

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

"See? The good still outweighs the bad."

"Would you like to supersize that?"

Working Out

"You exercise too much."

'I think we better get started on that other arm.'