Weight Management Gifts

Candies and diet pills

"Not all fat's bad. Maybe you're gaining the omega-3 polyunsaturated kind."

"Can I substitute saltwater taffy for the five servings of seafood?"

'DIET? EXERCISE?... Can't you just OPERATE?'

'If you go on a diet and lose five pounds, only to gain ten the following month, how many infuriating godforsaken pounds do you weigh?'

'Too much intake - not enough burnout.'

Math teacher shows a number line representing her diet.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I only weigh 95 Kilograms ... Thats 210 in pounds!'

Spreading the Load.

'I'm trying to watch my weight so I hope that's low fat!'

Wheat Watchers

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"

'According to the blood tests, x-rays and EKG... You're fat.'

Belly reflection

Thin and thick

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Let me know if these weight-loss pills actually work.'

Woman accusing her scales of lying

'See a doctor. Your cholesterol is twice your weight.'

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

"That's inflation. You may have more pounds now, but you're worth less."

'I am not overweight. I'm gravity enhanced.'

"See? The good still outweighs the bad."

'Here, hold my dentures.'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

Bad news from the scales.

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

Fat woman worring a thin woman whoes weighing herself by putting her foot on the scale

"I want a doctor I can relate to, someone who's at least fifteen pounds over his ideal weight."

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

'Life gave me lemons so I made lemonade...which made me gain weight!'

'Are you on a diet again?'