Diet Management Gifts

My diet sheet says only one ice cream a day. (Has giant ice cream cone).

"I like the idea of getting rid of our junk food, but instead of throwing the fridge out, you could've just thrown the food out."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

In the Guru District

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Any time is cake o'clock

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

What the Doctor Ordered

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Soup of the month.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.