Diet Market Strategist Gifts

'I think I know what the problem is!'

All Natural Nothing

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

The Invisible Hand of the Market

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Profit in the garbage.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

Protein Powder Irony

"Why, Ed Dunlop! Didn't you used to be my chief stock picker?"

'Supply' and 'Demand' arm wrestle keeping the 'Industrial real estate market' steady

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"I knew a breakfast meeting would be a mistake."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"First, finish that genetically modified asparagus. Then you can have ice cream full of bovine growth hormone."