Diet Market Strategist Gifts

Corporate Communications Department. In the press release just say we're increasing our presence in the lucrative dieting market. Don't say "expand." I probably shouldn't say "bigger piece of the pie" either.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

All Natural Nothing

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

The Invisible Hand of the Market

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Profit in the garbage.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"

Protein Powder Irony

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"Why, Ed Dunlop! Didn't you used to be my chief stock picker?"

'Supply' and 'Demand' arm wrestle keeping the 'Industrial real estate market' steady

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"I knew a breakfast meeting would be a mistake."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."