Food Strategist Gifts

US Agriculture

'Men order. . . women shop.'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"I knew a breakfast meeting would be a mistake."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Something with enough depth to taste like success to me and shame to him."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

Coronavirus Blocks Food Delivery

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

"The specials I didn't order sound so much better when you describe them to other people."

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

The velcro ties were in place. The lobstermen would have no idea what hit them.'

"Graph of broth"

"And that's the real difference between summer and winter. Saucepans. Lots of saucepans."

'Oh, sure, you can dish it out, but you can't take it.'

'I would go with salmon on this one.'

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

"I don't want the report next week! I don't want it tomorrow! I don't want it this afternoon! I don't want. . ."

Chess Chef

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

Birthday Cakes for Dieters...

"He usually doesn't see anybody without an appointment, but since you brought pizza ..."

Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

'What would Anthony Bourdain order?'