Cereal Strategist Gifts

"I don't want the report next week! I don't want it tomorrow! I don't want it this afternoon! I don't want. . ."

Chez Nous Menu

Little league world series of poker.

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

To do before Saturday...

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Something with enough depth to taste like success to me and shame to him."

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"That's the cereal I want Mommy... Sugar cubes!"

"Guac-A-Mole"

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

Coronavirus Blocks Food Delivery

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

"Can't they compromise and sell candy apples?"

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.