Crop Strategist Gifts

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Farmers' Warnings.

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

Coronavirus Blocks Food Delivery

A misery of mole hills

"I don't want the report next week! I don't want it tomorrow! I don't want it this afternoon! I don't want. . ."

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

Monsanto experiment

What can I say - Global warming enriches my life!

A lady wants a higher fence to protect her man from the neighbour.

Crop Walk.

Hey, those are not menus!

'I tell you, the gas shortage story in the seventies was good, but this greenhouse think is pure genius!'

Tough day coach. What happened?...I think it's pretty obvious Frank...You can't win a ball game with that many turnovers!

"I get more respect wearing a uniform."

"Janet and Bob are coming to dinner on October 6th. Better plant eight more carrots and three more potatoes this spring."

'My business model is simple. Produce enough crap and they will come.'

'How the hell do they get this shit to snap, crackle and pop?'

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence down and set free the first turkey he sees."

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo...

'...I just take the Hide-a-Meter bush, toss it over the meter, and voila! Free unlimited parking!'

"Today's objective is the genetically modified corn in this quadrant!"

Production of food

US Agriculture

I rotate my planting between watermelons and rutabagas. So you use the good crop/bad crop method.

"So that's how they set the soybean price."

Flower poaching water from the neighbouring flowerpot.

Puddle