Farmyard Strategist Gifts

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence down and set free the first turkey he sees."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Cow in love'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

An early space launch attempt.

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Cow of BEEF

Free Range Employees.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Cow noticing the grass is wet. So he wanders off and performs a fabulous powerslide!

Farmers' Warnings.

Will eat your homework for $.

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

No caption (A mother cow is holding a calf. The baby is sucking on a pacifier shaped like udders).

'The sty is falling!!'

"Do kids eat free?"

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'This is a real barnburner.'

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

FREE-RANGE CIRCUIT TRAINING

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

Dogs and Chickens

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'