Farmyard Strategist T-Shirts

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Cow in love'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

An early space launch attempt.

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Free Range Employees.

Cow of BEEF

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Cow noticing the grass is wet. So he wanders off and performs a fabulous powerslide!

Farmers' Warnings.

"Do kids eat free?"

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

Dogs and Chickens

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

FREE-RANGE CIRCUIT TRAINING

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

It MUST be Valentines Day!

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'