Plant Strategist T-Shirts

'...I just take the Hide-a-Meter bush, toss it over the meter, and voila! Free unlimited parking!'

Flower poaching water from the neighbouring flowerpot.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

Plant Reference Library - Flowers/Trees.

Board Game Hunter

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'This species of fungi was last spotted in Oxford by Alice Liddell in 1862!'

A businessman sits with an executive toy of smokestacks.

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Sellafield Nuclear Power plant being run by Homer Simpson

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

Coal Liquefaction Plant...Liquefied Coal Gasification Plant

'Will you make the final table?'

A misery of mole hills

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

'We're in luck - we've discovered a new species!'

"Go human."

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

'Heaven welcomes botanists, we've millions of extinct plants that need classifying!'

'That's typical of Nigel - endangered specimens come first!'

'Our company's philosophy is thus. Our idealists develop ideas. Internal realists then turn these ideas into products. Finally, external realists devise pretexts for consumers to buy these products.'

"Try nibblin' through that, you little tree rat!"

A lady wants a higher fence to protect her man from the neighbour.

'It's gotta be a trap.'

"Why do we have such an exotic tree that it can only be unwrapped ina heatwave?""It's a symbol of hope!"

"Janet and Bob are coming to dinner on October 6th. Better plant eight more carrots and three more potatoes this spring."

Tough day coach. What happened?...I think it's pretty obvious Frank...You can't win a ball game with that many turnovers!

Genetically modified climbers: 'Quick, aren't they?'

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

'My business model is simple. Produce enough crap and they will come.'