Backyard Strategist T-Shirts

Puddle

A lady wants a higher fence to protect her man from the neighbour.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"He loves his leaf blower."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

"How could you forget where you buried dad. You do know he has the car keys in his pocket?"

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

Strikeout Dog

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"