Agricultural Strategist Gifts

'My business model is simple. Produce enough crap and they will come.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'Trickle or Spray!?'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

Biodiversity

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Farmers' Warnings.

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

"You're famous, Angus."

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Farmer Christmas.

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'