Agricultural Strategist Gifts

'My business model is simple. Produce enough crap and they will come.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

'Trickle or Spray!?'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

Biodiversity

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

Farmers' Warnings.

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

"You're famous, Angus."

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Farmer Christmas.

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

Factory Farmers.

"We're doing our best to meet the demand for ethanol."