Rural Strategist Gifts

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Farm Humor.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

Twitter that!

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

A Gated Community.

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

A bit of Newlyn.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

Fly-fishing. - Favourable wind and the trout rising as fast as possible.

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Gertie, the tree climbing has to stop!

Last Reception for 200 Miles.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

I've been doing sit-ups!

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Extreme Sheepherding

Bungee sodbustin'

Agricultural Testing Station: 'Over 3 Billion Compounds Tested.'