Small Town Strategist Gifts

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"He loves his leaf blower."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Board Game Hunter

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

Things I love about Powell River...

Will eat your homework for $.

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'Start barking and stop handing out business cards.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'Will you make the final table?'

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

"I couldn't find parking in the city, so I moved home, got back with my high-school girlfriend, had a baby, and got a great deal on a new car."

"Face it, Larry. We're small fish and des Moines isn't that big a pond."

"Go human."

"Yes, it's report card time again."

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

'If we let this happen, soon we'll be swamped in chain stores.'

Giggling during the debate didn't cost you the election. The mile coming out of your nose cost you the election.

'Your poll numbers were great during recess, but voter apathy at nap time cost you the election.'

Poker Moms

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'