Small City Strategist Gifts

"Face it, Larry. We're small fish and des Moines isn't that big a pond."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"He loves his leaf blower."

Environmentalist Brainstorm

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

The Transition Oz team on their way to Totnes to get advice on Reskilling, Transport, Oil Dependancy and overcoming Post Petroleum Stress Disorder.

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'Start barking and stop handing out business cards.'

Murphy bed...Murphy.

"Did you order takeout?"

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"We didn't have room to store the Halloween decorations so we put them on the Christmas Tree."

Sidewalk the game

Watch for Pedestrians.

Small Talk Outlet

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

A lady wants a higher fence to protect her man from the neighbour.

Poker Moms

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

'She always has her own way. She even writes her diary a few days in advance.'

Mowing the Lawn

'Most businesses point their CCTV cameras at property they want to protect. . . not at what they want to watch on the webcam...'

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

Walking stooped 'So that was the spare room.'

"They expect to get all this into a one-bedroom in Brooklyn."

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

"How do I set up a small business?"

"Just think - if it really was 'unlivably small', would they have installed a permanent ping-pong table?"