Urban Strategists Gifts

Amazon.com is Playing a Sick Race-to-the-Bottom Game

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Commutobile

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Did you order takeout?"

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

'Wow, the support for legalizing marijuana is really picking up!'

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

"Face it, Larry. We're small fish and des Moines isn't that big a pond."

"... but this is Emily Dickinson and that's a car alarm!"

Sidewalk the game

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

Fox Holes

Life in a food desert.

"It was the cheapest way for us to cover the potholes."

'Do you not have a dictionary?'

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

Poker Moms

Mowing the Lawn

Fake beggar.

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

'It's quite a learning experience. You'll be amazed at what you can live without.'

'Great! To top it all off, I've been put on hold!'

Chronically Unemployed.

"Baldo, you will never flip off people on the highway again...do you hear me?"

"Damned urban sprawl."