Street Strategist Gifts

Sidewalk the game

"Remember -- he may have book smarts, but you've got street smarts."

"Sorry we're late – we had to parallel park."

Dog Walkers Unite

"Baldo, you will never flip off people on the highway again...do you hear me?"

"Yes, you're quite clever, but to survive around here, you need to become street-smart..."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"He loves his leaf blower."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Standard And P****d.

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

The Invisible Hand of the Market

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

'Profit in the garbage.'

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"