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"Face it, Larry. We're small fish and des Moines isn't that big a pond."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"He loves his leaf blower."

Environmentalist Brainstorm

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

The Transition Oz team on their way to Totnes to get advice on Reskilling, Transport, Oil Dependancy and overcoming Post Petroleum Stress Disorder.

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'Start barking and stop handing out business cards.'

Murphy bed...Murphy.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Did you order takeout?"

"We didn't have room to store the Halloween decorations so we put them on the Christmas Tree."

Sidewalk the game

Watch for Pedestrians.

A lady wants a higher fence to protect her man from the neighbour.

Small Talk Outlet

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

Poker Moms

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

'Most businesses point their CCTV cameras at property they want to protect. . . not at what they want to watch on the webcam...'

'She always has her own way. She even writes her diary a few days in advance.'

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

Mowing the Lawn

Walking stooped 'So that was the spare room.'

"They expect to get all this into a one-bedroom in Brooklyn."

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

"How do I set up a small business?"

"Just think - if it really was 'unlivably small', would they have installed a permanent ping-pong table?"