Rural Supporter Gifts

"We need money - where - Oh, where, will we get the money? Where?"

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"They’re real."

Things I love about Powell River...

Twitter that!

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

I've been doing sit-ups!

Stunt Fly flying through a cow.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Scrooge McCow

'What's that smell?'

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

'It's okay, Larry, I've got this one.'

"Oh look, the proposed site for the model Tesco's."

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

That's one harmonious butt hole!

Snow Cow

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

'If we let this happen, soon we'll be swamped in chain stores.'

I splurged on some organic, handcrafted goat cheese from a local artisanal farmer. Looks good. How much did it cost? $12.37 a gulp. Burp.

One cappuccino please, and I wanted to give you this. A note. How formal. Dear small local independent coffee house ... I went to Starbucks this morning. I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me? What if I agree to purge what I ate? The written apology is sufficient.

"Not now. I'm having a staff meeting."

Terrance McWit, Attorney at Law, Last Lawyer for 387 Miles.

'Well Ma, I guess it's time to update our milking machine.'