Rural Community Advocate Gifts

'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'

View to the Future

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

Sign Reform

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

Moon Pies.

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

Never on Sunday

Disraeli's Local Taxation Reform for Agricultural Interest

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

'And I bet the same resolution principles would work in your neighborhood conflicts.'

Progress.

'Right...so that's pages 1-6 on 'teenage thus run rampage', 7-9 on 'man sued £25,000 for cleaning neighbours path', the middle spread on...'

"I can't afford to feed you."

After we hibernate, there's always so many take out menus to gather up

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

"Whatever happened to common sense?"

'It's okay, Larry, I've got this one.'

"Our state made the list for being on the most lists."

Tom Cotton

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

'Any Questions?. . . Anyone else?'

"Oh look, the proposed site for the model Tesco's."

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

Empty shops.

"I'm sorry son, but one day all this will be yours."

GM Food and World Hunger

You can redo my garden. Just don't hurt the deer! Ok. We'll rip out the shrubs they eat. We'll replace them and replant your flower beds with varieties they don't. Terrific! Here's my estimate. I hear the homeless shelter serves venison.